Crappy Product

To: J.Sullivan (Head of Response Modelling)
From: E. Lynch (QA & Testing - Neon Royale Unit)
Hi Jim,

This isn’t an easy email to have to write, so I’m just going to say it - these dopaminergic models of yours are utter crap.

Design have put over the best part of the last two quarters into the new release, consulting your team’s models on every design decision. We’ve been running the usual neurotransmitter scans on alpha testers and the results are leagues away from your predictions. The dopaminergic response is barely significant, serotonin and everything else of interest is flat. Production are going to be absolutely livid that we’ve pumped all this money into designing and producing a game that fails to elicit any addictive behaviors. I’ve even got half the testers saying the colours on the attached picture look dull - that alone tells me we are in serious trouble.

Design are completely directionless on how to fix this without valid models to work from. They’re having to go on what seems fun; and you don’t need me to tell you that that’s no way to design a game. Please get these models right or we are all gonna be walking out of here with boxes under our arms.

Ev.